Dreaming
by SEZCPL
Summary: ...In the movie, when the girl dies, I didn't see the actress. I saw you." A ONE SHOT in response to the numerous fics where either Derek or Casey dies. If they had foreseen the death, would they have behaved differently towards each other? DASEY [Revised 2012]


"You're quiet." Casey informed him.

"Quit complaining." There was a definite air of testiness about him. Casey raised an eyebrow.

"It wasn't a complaint it was an observation." she noted calmly. She, at least was in a good mood! No doubt Derek would soon change that!

"Yeah…well…" Derek paused. He was going to say 'go observe somewhere else, I'm watching the hockey.' But he couldn't. The words wouldn't come out.

Not now.

Oblivious, Casey laughed. "What's this? Derek Venturi wimps out on a comeback?"

_He _didn't laugh. He couldn't rise to the argument. He didn't want to.

Not now.

Concerned at his lack of response, Casey frowned. "Are you okay?"

She wasn't sure why his behaviour was unnerving her. It wasn't just the stillness of his mouth. She often begged him to shut up. Yet, when he finally did, it felt weird. She wasn't sure it was only the weirdness factor either. It was rather freaky that the late night hockey was on, but she was convinced he wasn't actually watching it and every now and then, when he thought she wasn't looking, he turned his eyes to her, and she could feel his gaze burning on her skin.

"D?"

He closed his eyes, ran a hand through his hair, in a gesture she was familiar with his father making when George was really worried. Derek blew a loud breath from his mouth.

"It's nothing. Something freaked me out that's all." he tried to cover.

The school-age Casey would have retorted, 'Did you look in the mirror, jerk?' But Casey wasn't school age any more. She was a college girl. A college girl of nineteen who lived with her step-brother because it was the only way they could afford the living expenses. She was a college girl who had learnt to deal with being pranked by said step-brother. Occasionally she had learned to get her own back. She was also a college girl who believed in the power of family, and like it or not Derek Venturi was family. (Well that was the excuse she gave herself anyway.)

She sat down beside him. "Want to talk about it?"

Derek gave her a frustrated look. "With you…no."

"Derek, come on. Who else are you going to discuss serious stuff with? Your lame, feather brain of a groupie girlfriend?"

"Casey. Drop it." He was angry and she could see his hands were shaking slightly, but she wasn't convinced it was fury.

Okay. Now he was frightening her. But Casey wasn't giving in. She sat beside him in silence. the television played on to an uninterested audience.

They _not-_watched the hockey together on the sofa, without talking, for some time and he was aware of every breath of life she took, and Casey was aware of the aura of fear emanating from him.

"I went to the movies last night." He said eventually.

"With the IQ-challenged blonde?" Casey couldn't resist.

"Do you want me to talk to you or not?" He snapped. Casey bit her lip.

"Sorry. What did you see?"

"That new pile-of-crap weepy. It was Tasha's idea. She likes tear-jerkers apparently." his tone spoke volumes and Casey could tell the girl's days as Derek's girlfriend were numbered.

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "The one where the couple go back and forth through life almost being happy and then the girl dies in a car accident and he's left to bring up their child alone."

"Yeah." Was it her imagination or did Derek shiver?

"Was it good? I was thinking about going with Emily in a few weeks when she visits." Casey commented.

He gave her a look. "How long have you known me?"

Casey shrugged. "Almost four years."

"Since when have I liked _weepies_?" There was just the ghost of his usual personality still there as evidenced by his barely-beneath-the-surface contempt.

"I just thought there might have been _something_ you liked about it." Casey normally found something to appreciate about a film, even if it was just the accuracy of the costumes and set or the stunning cinematography. Derek was more basic.

"The actress was pretty hot."

Casey laughed. "You are nothing if not predictable, Derek. Girls and hockey…all the w…."

"…I saw you die." He interrupted.

Silence.

Okay. That she didn't predict.

"What?" Casey was genuinely confused. How could they go from hot actress to Casey's shuffling off the mortal coil?

Derek explained. "In the movie. When the girl dies, I didn't see the actress. I saw you."

Still in shock, Casey said nothing. I mean, what do you say in answer to something like that?

"Did the actress look like me?" She said eventually, trying to rationalise his admission.

"Sort of." He shrugged. "But the person who died? It was definitely you."

She pushed away the immediate question about the actress being "hot".

"Then later on…when I got home and went to bed, I _dreamt_ you died." he admitted reluctantly with a new shiver. "It was so vivid, there was crying and stuff." He left out who was doing the crying but Casey guessed it was him.

Her eyes narrowed. "Derek. Did you _take_ something?"

Derek looked disgusted. "What?! No! Of course not. I don't do that stuff. FFS Casey! I'm an athlete!" He wasn't lying. For all his scrapes and brushes with authority, he'd avoided that particular temptation.

"It's just what you're describing sounds like a bad trip. [_What the hell does Casey know about bad trips?!] _You know you can get those years after the event." said Casey - apparently now the local authority on psychedelia. Not through experience of course - she just liked research.

"I didn't _take_ anything. I've never taken anything. In some ways it would be easier to understand if I had. Come on Casey, this is freaking me out!" He was pale and she sensed his distress was real. It was a bombshell for her too.

"It's freaking you out? You're not the one who dies!" She meant it.

"I'm sorry." He said, head in hands.

"Why? I'm sure it was the best dream you ever had." Casey said sarcastically.

He stared at her and she suddenly noticed he was still shaking.

"D?" She prompted more softly.

"It's nearly twenty four hours later and I can't stop shaking. God I wish I smoked!" He confessed.

"I'm glad you don't. Then maybe it would be me dreaming about you dying."

He looked up and smiled weakly.

"And that would be the best dream _you_ ever had."

Despite herself, she smiled back. Derek relaxed a little.

"In my dream, we argued." He said.

Casey continued to smile softly, indulgently. He liked it. "Sounds like us." She agreed.

"I know." Then his smile vanished. "You called me a "waste of space" who couldn't keep his pants on."

Casey coughed to cover a laugh. "Really? Sounds more like something you'd say. I don't entirely disagree with the sentiment though. You hockey players..."

"I guess it was me putting words in your mouth." He interrupted. "It was a dream after all."

"So we argued. Why?"

"Does it matter? We always argue." There was a hint of evasiveness in his voice that Casey didn't miss.

"Yeah but surely it was about something specific." She pushed.

"My girlfriends I think." Close to the truth, but not the whole truth. Derek wasn't ready for her to have the whole truth.  
"Evidently." Casey shrugged.

Derek went on. "We argued, you stormed off."  
Casey looked embarrassed. "I've done that before."

"Tell me about it." He was amused again. Still shaking though. Sometimes being around Casey was a rollercoaster of a ride.

"What happened then?"

Derek took a deep breath. "You got in a car and drove off. You were angry and didn't look properly when you pulled out. Your car got hit by a truck." As he finished speaking Derek looked green.

"Oh." And now Casey felt sick too.  
"It was my fault." Derek told her. _I'm going to blurt it, I know I am… _He told himself. There was no way he would get through this conversation without telling Casey the truth. She was an impressive inquisitor. He could hardly tell she was doing it.

She shrugged. "I was the one who didn't look."

"I caused the argument." Derek said confidently. _Definitely._

"It takes two Derek."

"Nah I was unfaithful or something." _Just throwing that one onto the table._

"Unfaithful to whom?" Casey was suspicious.

"You." _Told you!_

Casey looked at him steadily. "Then you know it's a load of bull, don't you?"

He couldn't work out her reaction to his dream - her reaction to the idea of them sleeping together – probably because _she_ hadn't worked it out yet either.

"Why is it bull? Because in order for me to be unfaithful to you, there would have to be something between us and there isn't?" He asked, and the amusement was back again. An amusement in his voice he didn't feel in his bones.

"Uh Duh!"

"Yeah the thought did cross my mind." he grinned.

She stared at him, a look of shock on her face. _Okay_ thought Derek …as_ reactions go…bad. Or should I say 'good'?_

"I meant the idea about it being bull, Casey." He said. "Jeez any one would think I suggested you slept with the pope or something."

"Did you just compare yourself to the pope?" Disbelief and amusement.

He frowned. "My head is fried."

"Are you sure you didn't take anything?" _And that's Casey's opinion of me? That I sleep around and take drugs? Great._

"Does accidentally overdosing on cough mixture once count?"

"No." She giggled.

"No then."

"So did anything happen after that?" She asked.

"I slept for a whole day and had a massive hangover."

"Not the cough mixture incident. I meant did anything happen after I got hit by a truck?"

He yawned. "Yeah a lot of tears."

"From whom?"

"The usual suspects. Nora, Lizzie, Marti…Edwin, even Dad."

"Did _you_ cry?"

"Yeah."

She looked pleasantly surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. My jacket was in the car it got covered in blood." He lied.

Casey smacked him. He grinned at her.

"You want me to _cry_ over you?" He looked taken aback.

"Of course. I died."

"It was a dream, Casey."

"Even so. You should cry over me. You're my brother."

She waited for the _step_ bit, but he didn't bite.

"If it's any consolation, I didn't go back to sleep." He said. It was the truth too.

"Not at all?" Casey was astonished. Very little came between Derek and his sleep.

"Nope. I've been awake since 3am."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm worried I'll have the dream again." Watching her die had seriously unnerved him. _The idea of losing her_. It wasn't just the dream, it was the way he had _seen_ it on the movie screen.

Derek hadn't been thinking of Casey until she suddenly appeared in the film…well maybe he had been, just a little.

Okay so maybe a lot.

Early the previous evening she had appeared at the door to her room just before he needed to leave to pick up Tasha. Casey's clothes had been her slob-around-the-house outfit, but it was his favourite one: A long clinging deep blue sweater and denim look leggings. It really showed off her figure well and he liked that only he really saw her wear it. Her hair was curly today and their usual pre-Derek-date argument had been playful and amusing.

Later, he had thought about that last image of her smirking at him as he walked to Tasha's dorm and when his date appeared at her door, it was almost a disappointment. Tasha didn't help herself by being annoying. She was demanding, she insisted on choosing the film, demanded certain snacks and nagged him about Casey while they waited for the film to start.

"You need to get her to move out." Tasha whined.

"Yeah right, not going to happen. The lease is in her name. Dad's way of keeping me on the straight and narrow."

"But, we don't get any alone time, Derek. I'm not having sex with you in the back of that disgusting car, and my roommate refuses to stay out over night. So either we spend the night in your room, and you get rid of Casey or we spend the night in your room with Casey next door." Tasha paused and grinned evilly. "Do you think she'll mind the noise?"

Derek felt bile rising at the thought of Casey listening to him having sex with a girl. It wouldn't ever happen, because he doubted he would be physically capable of rising to the occasion.

There was something wrong about having sex in Casey's apartment anyway, whether she was there or not. A bit like having sex at your grandparents' house. Or at least that's what he told himself. The reality was he just couldn't face the idea of Casey bumping into the girl the next morning in the kitchen - the look of disappointment on his step-sister's face.

He'd never felt able to do that and since college girls apparently didn't _like_ the prince, he was on a bit of a drought at the moment. He wondered why he always seemed to pick girls who shared rooms in dorm. Maybe it was psychological.

The girl beside him was being irritating again.

"I really want to watch this film, Derek. So don't think you are getting your tongue down my throat the whole time."

He cringed inwardly. Actually, the thought of being physical with Tasha was not something he'd devoted much time to lately, either in anticipation or regret.

_God this was going to be a boring two hours (why are weepies so long?)_

It had been boring. Until Casey appeared on the screen. He wasn't even aware he had been thinking about her subconsciously during the film. She was just suddenly there, in place of the regular actress.

And he watched her die.

It was like he was dying himself. His throat closed, his chest _hurt,_ he started to sweat, and when the initial reaction passed, he felt physically sick. He blamed Casey's cooking as he excused himself to Tasha and ran to the washroom. He wasn't sick. But it was a close-run thing. And he couldn't go back in. he couldn't watch anymore of the film. When Tasha emerged from the film an hour later, he walked her home and dumped her. She hadn't even come to look for him when he was in the washroom.

He had gone home then, and gone to bed. But that was only the beginning of the story.

Back to the present, and Casey sat back on the sofa. The television was still playing but it was still being ignored. Derek reached over and switched it off. He turned to Casey.

"I'm sure I must have dreamt about you dying before…you know when you bug the hell out of me or something."

"Do you dream about me often?"

He hesitated and then shrugged. "Some. You're around a lot." His eyes narrowed. "Why? Don't you dream about me?"

Casey decided now wasn't the time to tell him about the R-rated Derek-dream from last Thursday which she was still trying to convince herself she hadn't had.

"Once or twice." She replied. _Once or twice a week…_

"Good dreams or bad dreams?"

"Depends on your definition."

"Any I might like?"

She was torn between wanting to end this conversation before it got embarrassing and not ending it, because the shaking had eased and he had more colour in his cheeks.

"I don't want to talk about them."

"They sound good…" He smirked at her.

"This is beside the point."

"Oh?"  
"You should go to bed. Get a good night's sleep. You'll laugh at this in the morning. Particularly the bit where you got upset because you lost me. You've been trying to 'lose' me for the last four years."

He chuckled with her, and the shaking had definitely stopped.

"Yeah. You're right." He stood up to go. But walking away from her was hard. Out here in the living room, she was alive, warm, and breathing. In his bedroom, she was crushed and dead. He stopped at the door.

"Case?"

"Hmm." She looked thoughtful.

"Do me a favour."

"Will it involve you pranking me?"

"No."

"Good."

"Promise me you'll never get behind the wheel of a car after one of our arguments."

Their eyes met.

"If you promise me the same." Her eyes were soft.

Sleep came easily. He'd been awake for twenty hours. Unfortunately, the dream came quickly too.

"_What's her name this time, Derek?" Casey was shouting at him._

"_Does it matter? You know what I'm like. I always come back to you."_

"_No. You always _try_ to come back to me. It's me that makes the decision whether to take you back. And do you know what? This time, it isn't happening. I'm moving out. I need to find a life of my own without you, Derek. I owe it to myself. I owe it to my child."_

"_Child?"_

"_I'm pregnant. I was going to tell you, but you screwed up, again. I've had enough, Derek. I need some space." he watched her pause on the pathway. "Goodbye."_

_And then she was gone, leaving him standing on the roadside. She slammed the car into reverse and then Drive, as she pulled away from the kerb. Neither Casey nor Derek saw the truck._

_He just heard the crash._

_The next thing he saw was Casey. Cold, still, not moving at the hospital._

"_Did you know your girlfriend was pregnant?" The doctor asked._

"_She'd just told me."_

"_I'm sorry."  
"Not as much as I am." Derek replied, his voice bitter._

_The sympathy killed. In his dream, he saw all the conversations. From the family, who all "understood". The friends who were all "there for you". But they couldn't understand, because only Derek understood. He'd had the world, and he lost it… for a one night stand._

_He cried and the tears felt real._

When he woke, his cheeks were wet, his heart was pounding and it would be very easy to carry on crying.

His clock said 3am. And in the soft haze of night time he could make out the familiar shapes in his room; his wardrobe and desk, his chair with his clothes slung on it.

What wasn't familiar was the gentle sound of rhythmic breathing. He turned over and saw a figure lying in bed beside him.

Casey.

He could tell it was her even in the darkness by her scent which, now he was facing the right direction, assaulted his nostrils. He should probably freak. But, the dream was still fresh in his mind. So he didn't.

Instead, he watched her shape, listened to her breathe and rejoiced in the knowledge that it had only been a dream. And tonight the Casey in his bedroom was living and breathing.

He knew her best of all, yet she was still an enigma even to him; intelligent and beautiful – always in that important order – kind, considerate and mostly calm; except with him of course. But that was his role in life; keeping Casey on her toes. Making her live.

Which was why his dream was such a travesty.

Because it was his fault she died.

Derek reached out to stroke her cheek…and, disorientated by the darkness, poked her in the eye. She groaned.

"Was that my punishment for sneaking in here?" She mumbled, still wincing as her eye watered.

Derek laughed. "No. I was trying to stroke your cheek." He admitted – aware that he was admitting quite a lot.

"Your aim is as good in the dark as it is in the bathroom." She told him.

"Hey. That's unfair, I clean up after myself." He protested.

"These days. You never used to." Casey rested her head on her elbow.

"Yeah well. I live with this domineering woman." Derek said sliding casually onto his pillow.

Casey turned the light on his nightstand on. They both blinked at each other.

"Eurgh! Too bright! And having the light on reminds me who I'm in bed with." He moaned.

Casey switched the light off again, and then he jumped as _her_ fingers brushed _his_ cheek.

"You've been crying." Casey pointed out.

"Don't worry. It wasn't consciously." He joked.

"Der-ek! There's nothing wrong with crying because you dreamed about your sister dying." Casey told him. Did she believe in her own words? Who knew?

"Casey. For the last, goddamn time, will you stop it with this sibling crap? You are not and never will be my sister."

"It's easier, D." Casey informed him.

"Than what?" he queried.

"Than explaining."

Derek shrugged. "Who is there to explain to, right now?"  
"You know what I mean." Casey shuffled uneasily.

"Yes. But it doesn't follow that I agree with you."

"I can't believe I'm lying in your bed at 3.15am arguing the semantics of step relationships." Casey complained.

"Yeah. What exactly _are_ you doing in my bed?" Derek's question was valid.

She sighed. "I just thought if you dreamed the dream again, it might help if you saw me alive as soon as you woke."

He said nothing. An overwhelming desire to hold her caught him. But he left the short distance between them.

"And…to be honest, your dream scared the crap out of me too." Casey admitted.

He found her cheek this time and when she raised her hand to his, their fingers linked and dropped to the bed still joined.

"Is this what they call a 'Hallmark moment?' You know…sibling bonding."

"Over my fucking dead body!" He replied drily.

"No. Apparently, over mine."

They chuckled in the dark. He played with her fingers and she blushed unseen.

"So are you going to be nice to me from now on…since you have my death on your conscience?" Casey asked Derek.

"I thought we agreed it was all a load of bull."

She laughed and turning her back to him, edged herself closer. "Yeah, but with _so much_ mileage!"

Derek took the hint the proximity of her body gave and stretched his arms around her. She leaned back into him and for a moment he couldn't speak.

"I quite like this sort of sibling bonding." He whispered against her neck.

"So do I. But you need to be sure of what you really want." And they were on the same page.  
"I know. I saw the future and it sucked."

She snickered.

"We should go to sleep." He managed eventually. Their hands were entwined at her waist.

"Sure. Do you want me to go back to my own room?" Casey offered.  
"Not tonight." Derek told her.

"And tomorrow?" Casey pushed

"To be honest I think you should stay here until I go a night without having the dream. When I tell you I didn't have the dream, that's your cue." Derek suggested.

She smiled to herself. "Okay. Night, Derek."

"Night, Casey."

The morning broke and when he woke she wasn't there. He could tell she had been there until very recently though because her pillow still smelt of her, and the bed was all wrinkled and warm from her body. He lay for a while thinking about how her body had felt against his. It was definitely an experience he wanted to repeat. Then he heard her singing in the kitchen. She sounded happy and it made him smile. And _that_ was a feeling he wanted to keep.

He watched her from the doorway and made decisions; about step-siblings, relationships, faithfulness and the future. Then he slid possessive arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

And Casey turned and let him catch her lips with his own.

He didn't tell her when the dreams stopped. So she never left his room; even when the college apartment turned into a family home full of children with his eyes and her beauty.

And he was never unfaithful.

Ever.

Not even in his dreams.


End file.
